Condemned for Loving Too Much

“Condemned for Loving too Much”

All was quiet in this forgotten town,

Because of the record snow tumbling down,

Yet in the plaza crowds were shopping still,

Looking for entertainment to get their fill,

There were walkers, and talkers, shops all ablaze,

Restaurants still open but countless delays,

Marge was waiting patiently and talking to a friend,

This day had been perfect, she didn’t want it to end,

Somehow, she noticed him, standing off from the crowd,

His gray eyes fixed on her, haughty and proud,

His brown coat, his lean frame, the thin twisted nose,

Why she alone could see him, she could only suppose,

His eyes asked questions, the answers she didn’t dare,

What kind of man was he? One that didn’t care?

Was he an angry ghost or a demon of some kind?

Why were his thoughts penetrating her mind?

Somehow in his hands he held her new fate,

She thought, “Is it possible to love someone you hate?”

As this thought surfaced, Marge pushed it away,

She had never seen him before, not until today,

“He is not attractive,” she thought, “not in the least,”

But he continued to stare at her like she was a feast,

Her face flushed, and deep within the heat began,

Rising in waves until perspiration ran,

She was uncomfortable, she needed time to think,

But he watched her diligently, not once did he blink,

“Is it possible to love your enemy?” she thought,

“What is it about me that’s so eagerly sought?”

She was thirty-three years old for goodness sake,

And ten pounds too heavy, give or take,

Yet she was flattered by his attention even more,

Unlike her friends, all her faults he chose to ignore,

He willed her to move forward, but he didn’t insist,

Although she closed her eyes, she was helpless to resist,

Silently Marge turned, her demon she faced,

When he smiled, her legs trembled, her heart raced,

She took one step forward, two, then three,

She unbuttoned her blouse, letting him see,

She hated him and yet she was offering her kind,

Melting into love, her body yielding to his mind,

Seeking his hatred, demands, contempt to slay,

Doing what she could, loving his hate away,

An act of love determined Marge’s fate,

Is it possible to love, someone you hate?

All is quiet again in this forgotten town,

But there is one less demon standing around,

No one wants to question or be out of touch,

Should Marge be condemned for loving too much?

"Just a Little"

Waiting for the plane to taxi down,

I remember the first time, the beating of her heart ,

Increase of the engine’s sound,

In rhythm with mine, part by part,

Speeding on the runway of my trip,

Her eyes searching mine,

Feeling the ground slip,

Even more so this time,

Soaring into the clouds,

“I’ve missed you,” I thought,

Above the Sierras, tall and proud,

“All along it’s you I sought,”

Above patch-work farms of green and brown,

Somehow I could see her brown hair,

Lakes of silent blue and beds of salt,

As the wind found her standing there,

Red cliffs and canyons, a seismic fault,

Her blue blouse, her lean frame,

The swaying of the plane does not bother,

The way she whispered my name,

Any readers, sleepers, or noisy others,

The wisps of hair about her face,

Trim stewardesses hovering nearby,

With kisses I’ll put the wisps in their place,

Still calming those who were afraid to fly,

Right in the middle of a crowd,

The pilot explaining the next sight,

I’ll crush her against me, so proud,

After Lake Powell, Grand Canyon to the right,

Feeling her against me so completely melt,

People straining eagerly to see,

Her warmth, her softness, dizzyingly felt,

The vast dry land, rocks but no trees,

“I want you.  It’s you I need,”

Very little turbulence above the rain,

She could feel my hunger, knew my greed,

A white blanket of clouds beneath the plane,

She pushes away, “We need to talk,”

Nothing to see so passengers try to sleep,

I’m stunned by her words. She begins to walk,

With memories of lovers and places to keep,

“While you were gone I’ve thought this out,”

Ears popping as pressures equalize,

“I want you to love me, without any doubt,”

We’re on a downward slope before I realize,

“I don’t want this to be a case of lust,”

“Please fasten your belts. We’re ready to descend,”

“I want you forever, your love and your trust,”

The wings shimmy and shake again,

“I want me in your heart, the way I hold you,”

The thump of wheels touching is all it takes,

“Even when I’m unloveable, I want you to be true,”

Slowing down quickly, the grinding of brakes,

Her words exploding in my heart and mind,

Finally I’m to the ramp where I disembark,

There could never be anyone else that I could find,

And stumble off smiling into the dark,

“She loves me,” I know, “she reminds me each day,”

I find my car and homeward race,

Without reservation her love is on display,

She’s waiting for me, dressed in black lace,

“Shhhhh,” she whispers, “the kids are asleep,”

“I want them to sleep, long and deep,”

For eight years it’s been like this,

Romance is part of our marital bliss,

And though my work takes me far and wide,

She’s always with me deep inside,

She’s a wonderful mystery, a constant riddle,

Do I love her? My manly pride answers, “Just a little.”

The Preacher and the Music Director's Wife

The preacher was arrogant to the younger crowd,

But to those with deep pockets, he appeared less proud,

Damon’s sermons were powerful, he turned them up by degrees,

He was clearly annoyed by those who dared defy his decrees,

Feared and secretly hated by the rest of the church staff,

Except by Samantha, who would mock him and laugh,

She found reasons to tease him, to watch him turn red,

Yet she’d bake him cookies and bring him sweet bread,

I wasn’t  sure but I thought she admired his position of power,

She was beautiful, smart, and already in full flower,

She was open to all who wanted to know about her family tiffs,

And frequently proclaimed she had all of the spiritual gifts,

Her husband, the music director, turned a blind eye,

Adam wanted to confront her, but didn’t dare try,

It was clear she was restless, and loved him no more,

She wanted to hurt him deeply by declaring a spiritual war,

Adam was persistent and continued to go out of his way,

To give her thoughtful presents and constantly say,

“I love you,” but she ignored him each and every time,

She hated his goodness and treated him like swine,

Adam was special and crowds showed to hear him sing,

His voice resonated, entertained, as he sang to his king,

Why Samantha did not feel the power, no one really knew,

The more the crowds loved him the more her hatred grew,

Samantha often said, “I want to go somewhere without you,”

Adam didn’t take her seriously because his love was true,

His rebuttal,“I can never leave here, I’m treated like a son,”

And in her heart Samantha knew, her time with him was done,

The preacher, on the other hand, was abusive to his wife,

 Damon was heard to say, “A wife must obey all her life,”

Mary would murmur quietly, “I’m sorry, much harder I’ll try,”

Sometimes Mary would show up with bruises, black and blue,

She always covered for him, but I knew her words were untrue,

“It was my fault,” she might say, “I was not being loyal” or “I fell,”

It was my opinion that the preacher had a one way ticket to hell,

One day when Damon thought he was alone with his wife,

“You disagreed with me! That’s disloyal!” his voice cutting like a knife,

He berated her at length and ended the tirade with a slap,

“Now clean up this mess,” he snapped, as her nose bled onto her lap,

She noticed me in the shadows, “Shhhh. You’ll only make it worse,”

I couldn’t just accuse him. I needed more than chapter and verse,

Damon’s temper was legendary but church officials looked the other way,

As long as the church was growing Damon would have his say,

To Damon, all wives and daughters were part of a game,

It was rumored that they were afraid when he called them by name,

Except for Samantha who talked as if she cared about nothing,

She scared him with her reckless talk about acting and dancing,

Always in short skirts and low cut blouses, she sat in the front pew,

Damon often stammered and sputtered because of the view,

When some of the elderly women criticized her just a bit,

She said, “God gave it to me and the devil can’t make me hide it.”

It didn’t take long for Damon to succumb to her charms,

At night he dreamed of holding her tightly in his arms,

Tossing and turning, he was restless and could find no relief,

The next day he confronted her, “Your rebellion has caused me grief,

Did you not learn a lesson from Delilah and Jezebel?

If you don’t mend your ways, you’re going straight to hell,”

He hesitated, “You need to see me for counseling so we can talk,”

She laughed at him, “You’d like to have me behind a door that locks,”

“If you were in my house for a week,” he sputtered, “You’d learn,”

“You’ve got a little bad boy in you,” she said, “You’d have to earn,

Any chance you got with me, so talk to my husband, then we’ll see,”

What chance did he have to convince her husband to agree?

After one of his sermons he decided to talk to Adam, man to man,

“You’re neglecting your duty, she’s not under your command,

She runs your house, I don’t think you have much to say,

If she was under my roof, just for a week, I’d get her to obey,

We might be happier if we switched partners for awhile,

I’d tame your wife and she’d come back with a smile,”

Adam was shocked, he couldn’t believe what he had heard,

“I couldn’t do that,” he muttered, “it’s going against the Word,”

Samantha chuckled, “You are pathetic and can’t satisfy me,

I wouldn’t have to be near you, for one week I’d be free,”

Adam was infuriated, he didn’t like Samantha’s retort,

But he made a mistake when he turned to Mary for support,

Mary was still bruised from Damon’s last series of blows,

To be away from Damon she would have kissed the devil’s toes,

Mary said, “Your wife will learn to appreciate loving kindness in a man,

Now, she’s young and blind, she really doesn’t understand,”

That made sense to Adam.  His wife had never given him respect,

He knew he loved her and would give her everything without neglect,

For that reason, he wavered, for a week he could let her go,

But in the back of his mind was a small voice saying, “No, No, NO!”

What choice did he have when all three stared him down?

But his heart refused to give in, he was honor bound,

“This is all wrong. Samantha will have to make her own choice,”

“And you, Damon, have been listening to the devil’s voice!”

Angrily Adam turned and left. He needed to find somewhere to pray,

Someplace where sunlight poured over him, where evil couldn’t stay,

Evil would stay away from exposure and find all the secret places,

It had already captured three of them, he could see it on their faces,

Adam knew he could not control, the choice Samantha would make,

But within his heart he felt at peace, he knew the path he’d take,

Damon wasn’t seen around the church. He claimed to be really ill,

But rumors flew from house to house about how his nights were filled,

His name was bandied about, giving the church ill-fame,

He was asked to go away, where none would hear his name,

Mary had fled that very day to escape her life of abuse,

Disappearing somewhere far off, safe as a nameless recluse,

Samantha left Adam for glittering lights, success always on the brink,

She’d call from time to time, usually when she had too much to drink,

She said she might return some day, if he would take her back,

She just needed a few more months, until she was on a winning track,

Adam endured the jibes and sneers, ignoring the months of lies,

Gradually pity was exchanged for respect, he was deemed saintly and wise,

But he never remarried, more lessons he chose not to learn,

He had kept a journal each day of his life, and now he wanted it to burn,

He had finally forgiven Samantha for all she had said and done,

It had taken years for his inner battle to be won,

Now that it was over, he wanted his stories to feed the flames,

But I couldn’t destroy his work, I just changed the names,

I’ve come to realize that learning lessons does not end,

But there’s no reason to repeat them again and again,

If there’s a moment when a story rings clear and true,

I’ll take it to heart and growth for me will ensue,

Adam’s story won’t be wasted if others do, too.

Wait Until Later When It’s Good and Dark

Wait Until Later  (Part one)

A fireman’s job takes heart and soul,

They have to be ready to aid young and old,

 Dangerous situations are part of the work,

But never do firemen a mission shirk,

Being on roofs with flames all around,

In buildings with live electrical wires down,

Wondering if the walls could cave in,

There is bonding with other firemen,

A brotherhood of those who have the knack,

Respecting those who watch their back,

Yet not all the time dousing fires is spent,

Part of the time is used to prevent,

Warning others of dangers, always alert,

Sometimes when they see children badly hurt,

They’re quick and efficient, silently cold,

But layered underneath are hearts of gold,

Resuscitation and first aid are applied,

Behind closed doors, sometimes they’ve cried,

More than keeping everything polished and clean,

Stations are inspected and by the public seen,

Firemen write, play games, cook, or read a book,

Their fire clothing hangs waiting on a hook,

To sleep soundly would be a mistake,

So they sleep lightly for lives are at stake,

Wait Until Later (Part Two) Explosions

I had a small share of life and death,

It broke my heart to see a last breath,

Yet there were times not fire related,

When firemen were just people as stated,

One evening was different as I started my shift,

It was busy but uneventful, if you get my drift,

Tom was my partner, he was in charge,

He was considered serious, by firemen at large,

Two small kitchen fires, a car fire on the street,

A resuscitation call, then quiet, the evening complete,

Tom finished his bookwork and had gone to bed,

I climbed into my bunk and to relax I read,

Later I was sleeping deeply, that’s not an excuse,

When the world suddenly exploded, all hell broke loose,

Bang! Boom! And a series of loud bangs,

I thought for a moment several fire alarms rang,

We leaped up quickly from our beds,

I slipped on my trousers, I was seeing red,

We raced to the door for someone to snare,

But to our surprise no one was there,

We investigated quickly to see why we awoke,

Firecrackers were scattered, some still with smoke,

Yet there was no other evidence we could find,

But we couldn’t sleep or get peace of mind,

Tom was sure the culprits lived across the street,

A woman and her friend I’d a chance to meet,

Pranks, good and bad, they were prone to commit,

But they never got caught, and would never admit,

Later that week Tom sat pensively, a lot on his mind,

“I wish there was a way, a prank I could find,

To even the score and give me peace of mind,”

I thought for a moment, “I have some plans,

I just need fishing line and some empty cans.”

Wait Until Dark (Part Three) The Prank

When I was off duty I gathered my supply,

Patiently prepared, for there would just be one try,

I drilled holes in the cans and tied them with line,

“Perfect,” I thought, “This will work fine,”

A few days later when the women were leaving,

Tom plied me with questions about the plan I was weaving,

“It’s a simple plan, it’ll work, just wait and see,

First on my list is to climb their tree,”

I crossed the street and climbed with glee,

Draped the cans over branches so they couldn’t see,

Then I returned carrying the fishing line,

Attached it high in a nearby tree, with a clever design,

Tom still watched, his eyes full of question marks,

I only said, “Wait until later, when it’s good and dark,”

A few hours later, “It’s time,” I quietly said,

“I think the women are snug in their beds,”

Hidden behind shrubbery I gave the line a yank,

The cans across the street danced, clink, clank!

A light went on, a head peered out,

They heard the noise, there was no doubt,

They went inside, I yanked once more,

Clinkedy clank, clank, clank! There was a roar,

Lights went on, the couple raced out,

Carrying weapons of destruction with lots of clout,

To Tom’s delight and to their chagrin,

They found no intruders or pranksters again,

They stepped into the street, unaware of my scheme,

The cans rattled behind them, prompting both to scream,

Tom howled with laughter, quiet no more,

They rushed at him, they were very sore,

Angrily they demanded what he was doing wrong,

“It’s getting even time, I’ve waited so long,”

They still weren’t happy, they both wore frowns,

It was a few days before they cooled down,

A truce was declared, everyone agreed to comply,

Although occasionally we received a hot apple pie,

And we brought gifts from file and rank,

When word got out about “the prank”,

Over the next few years the story increased,

Until the laughter subsided and all memories ceased.

Run Where the Flowers Grow

Where the Flowers Grow

I couldn’t believe my eyes,

Dad had brought home a surprise,

A black and white cocker spaniel,

Just a puppy, but she meant the world to me,

She was happy, playful, and made me smile,

Lady came when I called her, eager to please,

We were two friends, always at ease,

The two of us discovered the world anew,

Bonded by our hearts, our friendship grew,

Sniffing flowers, chasing birds,

I read stories and she listened to every word,

When she was two she followed me down,

 The dirt roads to the grocery store in our town,

We encountered few cars that hot summer day,

 Crossing the two lane county road on our way,

Before I got groceries the owner and I had a debate,

 But he said, “No dogs allowed. She’ll have to wait,”

When I looked for her, she had crossed the street,

Busily sniffing flowers, or looking for bugs to eat,

My first thought was, “She shouldn’t be over there.”

 Without thinking, I whistled, loud and clear,

The shrill sound hanging expectantly in the air,

It was then that I saw a speeding car,

And realized that it wasn’t very far,

At the same time I saw Lady raise her head,

And obediently towards me she sped,

Smiling with every stride,

“Stop, Lady, stop!” I wish I’d cried,

But I was frozen, watching this nightmarish scene,

The car and Lady, the gap closing in between,

There was a loud “Whump!”

Time stopped and I had no need for air,

The car had hit Lady and the driver seemed unaware,

He slowed, then sped up, I knew he didn’t care,

I ran to her and dropped to my knees,

 “Lady, get up! I’m sorry, please,”

But I held a lifeless form tight,

Wishing with all my might,

That this was just a bad dream in the night,

I walked home in a trance,

Angry at myself for what I had done,

“Why did I whistle without a glance?

Why had I done this to my friend?”

Blaming myself over and over again,

 Tears streaming down my face,

Somehow managing to carry her to our place,

Where Mom took the groceries,

Telling me to hold Lady for a few minutes more,

Until I collapsed spiritless on the floor,

The next day a private ceremony with a prayer,

Only family was invited there,

My heart pounded and my head hurt,

And with each shovelful of dirt,

I thought I could hear a whistle blow,

Before I left, I leaned down and whispered softly,

“Run, Lady, run, where the flowers grow.”

When a Mortal and the gods Clashed

When a Mortal and the Gods Clashed

It was evening and in the adult school parking lot,

Groups of young men met sullenly by their cars,

Handshakes with home boys were silently sought,

None looked too excited to learn their three R’s,

Despite a strict dress code in place for years,

They wore casual pants that sagged to their knees,

Some wore caps or hair nets over their ears,

Soon I would be saying, “Pull your pants up, please,”

While the young men waited, their faces were grave,

Low riders, new BMW’s, pick-ups, beefed up stock,

Were compared and evaluated for the status they gave,

Against a background of Mariachis, rap, and punk rock,

Soon the young men’s attention to cars grew thin,

Girls arrived, some with parents, some with friends,

Wearing tight jeans and tops that revealed too much skin,

I wondered, “How will lessons entice anyone to come in?”

First, one young lady entered, then two, then three,

I directed them to assigned seats around the room,

The boys watched the girls, the girls complained to me,

“Do I have to sit here? Next to him I’ll be quiet as a tomb,”

I finished the roll and held up my hand,

“I expect you to be orderly the next time we meet,

This is your first night; I want you to understand,

You’ll come in quietly and sit in your seat,”

“Now I want you to listen and be quiet,

Focus on your English assignment tonight,

I want you to think deeply before you write,

‘What would you change to make the world right?’”

“Melissa, did you want to share what you wrote?”

“Yes, Mr. R, I have things to clean from my life,

There are creatures that are in my life’s boat,

They ruin my dreams and cause me much strife,”

She looked around while she played with her hair,

She was an actress, letting the moment grow,

“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, and I don’t care,

You’ve ignored me too much, the real me you don’t know,”

“My psychiatrist asks questions, he just has to die,

Along with two girls in gym class who played me for a fool,

My parents who said no to my boyfriend, and won’t say why,

I think I’m justified if I really lose my cool,”

“Two of my friends will join me in this endeavor,

This is not a harmless prank or a silly little caper,

History will be made because they owe me a favor,

Oh, yes, Mr. R, you too, because I had to write this paper,”

I called for security to remove her from class,

She left quietly, no smile on her face,

She met with her counselor and another big brass,

They brought her back in, “Where’s her place?”

 “You don’t understand, she needs this class,”

I looked at big brass calmly, “I’ll just say no,”

The counselor said, “If she doesn’t get it, she won’t pass,”

“No,” I repeated, “Because of her threats she’ll have to go,”

Maybe I was stubborn, I would rather say resolute,

When the forces gathered I refused to bend,

To me this was more than a simple dispute,

I didn’t think threats should ever begin,

I found out she was a judge’s daughter with lots of clout,

Odin’s thunder rolled and lightning flashed,

She quickly re-enrolled and I was out,

The evening when a mortal and the gods clashed.

What It Is, It Is..........